Tsunami Anniversary

On my walk this morning I came across a newspaper lying on a driveway. The headline read something like “Tsunami Survivors – One Year Later”. One year ago I was with Rik and four new friends in a beachside bungalow. We heard the water crashing onto shore, I wanted to run but it was coming through the door. The minutes that followed transformed my life and how I live each day. I was a quick study, I learned my lesson well – I am going to die someday…

The cover shot was of three kids laughing and playing in the surf. Was it for real? They all looked so happy. I wonder if the kids in the picture were Sri Lankan – maybe they were from Arugam Bay? I felt a strange mix of emotion: stupidity - for not trying to publish a timely piece in a magazine or newspaper; and guilt - for thinking of profiting from this devastating event, and for coming back to Canada.

I wanted to be with my family. I needed to heal, and feel safe again. My desire to feel safe is tested daily. Oddly enough, on this anniversary, the SOCAL coast is being pounded by a 20 foot swell. It seems that the waves are following me.

I’ve been back on the beach, but it took a solid half-hour of deep breathing to make my way to the water’s edge. When we were in Malibu, I made regular trips to the beach to do my yoga. My ears have become highly tuned to the sound of crashing waves. When they become larger and louder, adrenaline pumps and I pounce to my feet. I am happy and enjoying life – but things are not the same. I no longer care for ocean-front living.